Roddick Really Can’t Stand France

US Tennis is in dire need of a big time player. On Monday, Andy Roddick continued to prove that he wants no part of it.

The power-serving 23 year old quit his match at the French Open with Alberto Martin due to a sore ankle, marking the second time in the last three Grand Slam events that he has been ousted in the first round .

Roddick was supposed to be the next Sampras or Agassi, but the only thing he’s done in the last two years is lose the Wimbledon final to Roger Federer. Other that that, he really hasn’t left his mark on tennis at all. It’s been all downhill since he showed that umpire that he made the wrong call in a match last May.

When you really think about it, though, it’s probably a good thing that he hasn’t been a little better. He could be at his best and he’d still only be fighting to be the third best player in the world behind Federer and Rafael Nadal. At least by sucking early on in these big tournaments, it kills the chance of Americans getting their hopes up come the semifinals.

Andy Roddick's Mojo Still Missing – The Feed

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Enter Lastings

One of the greatest happenings in baseball is when a stud Minor Leaguer makes his Major League debut.

There’s something poetic about it. It seems like we treat prospects like they are our children. We follow them through the minors. When people start talking about them, we smile as though we have done something right. And when they make it to the show, we are unbelievably proud.

And we always refer to the player as “the kid.”

The kid Lastings Milledge was called up by the Mets yesterday, meaning that my friends and I need to jump on a new kid’s bandwagon. You see, ever since it became evident that Milledge was going to be a star, we have referred to everything cool and new as the Lastings Milledge of whatever was cool and new.

(Example) A young girl might be the Lastings Milledge of girls – meaning she’s an up and comer.

Anyway, Milledge went 1-4 with a double and left three men on base. He also bares a striking resemblance to rapper Lil Wayne.

It’s going to be interesting to see how he does over the next few weeks and I think it will play a huge part in where he ends up. If he extraordinarily well, you can pretty much pencil him in the Cliff Floyd’s spot next year. But if he is around .280 with little power, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him traded for a big time pitcher in July.

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Clemens to be a Pitcher Again

National League teams that aren’t located in Washington, Florida, Chicago or Pittsburgh must be pretty pissed. The ones that still have a shot at making the playoffs now have to deal with Roger Clemens.

It appears as though Clemens is about to re-sign with Houston (although his agent denies the claim) within the next week or two, becoming the ultimate addition to a playoff contender.

Say this about Clemens:

• He’s a selfish prick.
  

• He’s the greediest man in sports.
  

• He might be the devil.
  

• He shares the same ability to defy aging with Barry Bonds, as he’s gotten stronger in his 40’s.

But remember to say this:

The guy is a gamer. Even with Andy Pettitte struggling, I’d take the trio of Clemens, Roy Oswalt and Pettitte over any pitching staff in baseball. Face it; the Astros are going to run away with the Wild Card.

While this is only speculation, one thing that will absolutely infuriate me is if the Astros decide to call up his son in September as a sign of appreciation towards The Rocket. The kid can’t hit his weight in the Low A ball, he has no right to even be added to a 40 man roster, let alone stand in a Major League dugout this season.

Clemens worth a lotta cheeseburgers – Double Play Depth

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Kelvin Sampson Better Have Unlimited Text Messaging

The hiring of Kelvin Sampson came with a lot of questions. Now Indiana has some answering to do.

The NCAA banned Sampson from calling recruits and making off campus visits for one year due to rules he broke while at Oklahoma. Sampson allegedly made 233 extra phone calls to potential players from 2000-2004. It has been reported that his assistants made an additional 344 illegal calls during the same time period.

The one positive sign that comes from this whole situation for Indiana is that Sampson is obviously a relentless recruiter. It’s just that he cheats.

Sampson’s contract does say that Indiana could fire him if the NCAA elected to impose penalties regarding whatever went down in Norman. Unfortunately, it’s a little late to start searching for another new coach.

Of course, there’s always Isiah.

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Reyna: Fuck FIFA

The world really can’t stand the USA for calling football, soccer. Now, Claudio Reyna is firing back.

On Thursday, Reyna bashed FIFA for throwing the United States in a World Cup opening round group with the Czech Republic, Italy and Ghana despite being ranked fifth in the world.

"FIFA claim their rankings are done by computer, that they have some sort of formula which takes into account each country's results, strength of opponent and the competitiveness of every fixture," he said. "Well, if that is the case, why didn't they use them for the draw?"

Reyna also said he was upset with Mexico’s placing and he might actually have a point. The United States has beaten Mexico eight of the last nine times they’ve met, yet the Mexicans appear to be in a much easier opening group than their northern neighbors.

Even with its world ranking, this might be the type adversity that will garner the USA some real respect. Advancing through to the single elimination portion of the tournament would be a huge accomplishment for the team.

To me, the only thing in my lifetime that could come close to the Miracle on Ice would be for the United States to win the World Cup. It’s not going to happen this year, but this could be a huge step in the right direction.

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CIAC to Institute “Cochran Rule”

One of the most famous high school football coaches in the Connecticut history now has a rule designed in his honor. He should be embarrassed.

The Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference (CIAC) has come up with a policy that will punish football coaches for running up the score on clearly inferior teams. Now, a team that wins by more than 50 points will see its coach suspended.

The rule goes into effect a season after New London, coached by Jack Cochran, won four games by more than 50 points and beat one team 90-0. In another game, an opposing team’s coach was so enraged with Cochran for calling a timeout just before halftime of a 60-0 win that he assaulted a New London assistant coach.

Cochran, who coached Dwight Freeney in high school, is notorious for leading state powerhouses to blowout victories with little regard for the other team.

This rule was absolutely necessary. As you move up into the college and professional ranks, caring about the other team becomes a non-issue. But in high school, when you’re leading football first schools against tech schools or small enrollment schools, it isn’t exactly classy to embarrass your opponent.

The only problem with the rule is that football in Connecticut is so top heavy that the talented teams’ third and fourth string players will still be able to score at will on the bad teams. Playing with a continuous clock might have been a better idea. While it does take away from reserves’ playing time, it would certainly lessen the chances of teams putting 70 on the board and coaches wouldn’t have to avoid winning by more than 50.

Coaches face suspension for wins of 50-plus points - ESPN

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Raptors Should Trade Down

Bryan Colangelo's luck may have come a year too early for the Toronto Raptors.

The team won the rights to the number one overall pick in the upcoming NBA Draft last night despite having just an 8.8 percent chance of doing so. Unfortunately, the draft appears to be dominated by the two forward positions, which in Toronto’s case, are already locked down by Chris Bosh and Charlie Villanueva.

It’s going to be a tough decision for the Raptors. LaMarcus Aldridge and Tyrus Thomas are not even close to the player that Chris Bosh is and Adam Morrison might be a better shooter than Villanueva, but his upside is nowhere near as close.

One idea might be to trade down for either Randy Foye or Marcus Williams. Mike James had a great year running point for Toronto but he might be more of a sell high type player rather than a long term solution.

• New York’s pick was traded to Chicago so the Bulls will draft second, but it might get even worse for the Knicks. According to NBADraft.net, they might take Josh Boone with the 29th overall pick.
  
  Boone might be the softest player that came out. I think part of the reason he left UConn was because he can’t handle Jim Calhoun. I wonder how he will deal with Larry Brown ripping him to every New York newspaper.
  
  No player has gotten worse since his freshman year than Boone. He got bullied around all year in the Big East and then followed that up with piss poor performances in the tournament.
  
  Soft, no head, marginal defender, can’t score… Sounds like Isiah’s type of guy to me.

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PokerStars Blogger Tournament

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476

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Wallace to Cavs: Got Em'

Cleveland almost pulled off a major upset. And then the Pistons woke up.

Tayshaun Prince scored 20 points and helped lock down LeBron James in the second half to lead Detroit to a 79-61 victory in game seven of Eastern Conference semifinals. The Pistons will now host Miami in a rematch of last year’s conference finals beginning Tuesday.

After not getting it done Friday night, you had to see this coming for the Cavaliers. Upsets happen, but when a vastly inferior team blows its chance, the odds of them coming through are pretty slim.

And vastly inferior might be an understatement.

If James was the best player on the floor, the next five were all Pistons. I’d probably even take Lindsey Hunter and Antonio McDyess over any of the other Cavs players. Not one of Cleveland’s role players showed up. Donyell Marshall, Damon Jones and Ronald Murray combined for four points. Larry Hughes was the team’s second leading scorer and he only made two shots from the field.

There’s really not much else to be said. Cleveland was just that bad yesterday. And the Pistons were the Pistons. They played great defense, controlled the boards and did just enough on offense to help them win.

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Joe D's Uniform Sells for $195k

What men will give up to own other men’s clothing.

A uniform worn by Joe Dimaggio in the 1951 World Series was sold for $195,500 yesterday at an auction of some of his memorabilia. Other items sold were a jock strop, socks from game 26 of his hit streak, and a used condom that he may or may not have used with Marilyn Monroe.

I truly hope that everything sold at the auction went to a store that sells collectables but knowing Yankees fans, it’s quite possible that Tony from the Bronx sold his pizza joint in order to walk around at his son’s tee ball games pretending to be the Yankee Clipper.

To me, collectors are just weird. It’s one thing to be at ballpark hounding players for autographs when you’re young, but it’s totally different when you are paying outrageous sums of money to own game-worn clothing. Stuff like that is meant to be in Cooperstown.

Nobody’s wife will be happy about dusting the Joe D. jersey hanging in the living room.

Uniform from DiMaggio's last World Series sells for $195,500 - Yahoo

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Connecticut School Falls Victim to Bad Jocks

As he promised on his website (badjocks.com) and then on Outside the Lines with Bob Ley, Bob Reno released twelve more sets of hazing pictures from schools around the country. Included this time were photos of the Quinnipiac baseball team going through its initiation this past year.

While I find all the pictures Reno released to be pretty hilarious, there is no question that it’s in bad taste for him to post them on his website. I’m sure he and the companies he advertises for are getting a big kick out the enormous jump in traffic to the site over the last few days, he at what cost? He is ruining the reputations of college kids and that is wrong.

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Porter's Got No Swagger

The ever talkative Joey Porter will keep his mouth shut when he visits the White House with the Pittsburgh Steelers next month.

Porter reneged on his recent comments about having something to say to George W. Bush and said that he is looking forward to his team’s meeting with the president.

Last weekend, Porter said, “I'm going to have a swagger when I walk in there, too. I'm looking forward to it but, like I said, I have something to tell him, too. I don't like the way things are running right now. I feel like he's got to give me some of my money back, so I got something to tell to Bush.”

I actually surprised that Porter went back on his words. I mean, he’s been shot in the ass before. He should be allowed to say whatever he wants to whom ever he wants, no matter how little sense it is going to make.

What a conversation between those two. I wonder who knows more about our country’s tax system. Could be a push.

Steelers' Porter to Bush: Uhh, never mind – Yahoo
Steelers' Joey Porter blows Stephen Colbert opportunity – Daily Kos

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Cleveland Wins Game Five

The number of people who say “man, I’ve always been a Cavs fan” has probably doubled since LeBron James entered the NBA. One more win and that bandwagon might overflow.

Cleveland went to Detroit and won its third consecutive game to take a 3-2 series lead, and now heads home with a chance to pull off one on the most shocking upsets in recent NBA history.

Four quick points from this game…

• Reggie Miller is a horrendous commentator. I don’t know what it is about Reggie, but I absolutely can’t stand anything the guy does. He is one of the most overrated players that ever lived and he sounds like he’s drunk all the time. Hate him.
  

• Damon Jones is money. He doesn’t really do the whole defense thing and he doesn’t really handle the ball well or follow the plays. He makes $4 million a year in hopes that he might be open once or twice in a game to knock down the three. He does his job well.
  

• An obvious point. Rasheed Wallace is really dumb. First he talked shit after talking shit backfired and then he got a technical after picking up his fifth foul in the fourth quarter. Now I’m pretty sure he has to sit out game six in Cleveland.
  

• Ben Wallace is not a big time player. I understand that he’s known for his defense and everything but he is one of the worst offensive players I’ve ever seen. The guy makes Dennis Rodman look like Larry Bird.

Game six in Friday night.

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"That Guy" At Your Home Poker Game

Times have most definitely changed.

The sound of balls being ripped off aluminum bats or the swish of a 15 footer going in nothing but net has been replaced by the shuffling of card decks and twirling of chips. The term “check raise” has taken the place of “ghost runner.” What used to be a game of sandlot baseball or pickup basketball is now poker for this generation. My generation.

It’s pitiful...really…I mean even watching it on television is captivating. Norman Chad has become the new Jack Buck. Even those that don’t enjoy the game tune in, if for nothing else than to understand why the hell everyone else likes it so much.

One thing ESPN should do however, is televise ordinary home games. Take away the pros for once and just catch a bunch of guys sitting at a kitchen table playing a low stakes, one table tournament.

Regular people trying to imitate what they see on TV. That’s where the real characters are.

Live blogging a card game would just kill my street cred, and maybe get me beat up, so I didn’t take it that far but I came up with a list of people you need at your home game. If you can relate to any of these, you’re probably a total clown, but I’d love to laugh at you on television. If you can’t, well, you’re more respectable than I am.

Guy that wears sunglasses
Man, that lamp you’re sitting next to must really be bright. I think you’re getting sunburned. Seriously, you should kill yourself if you’re wearing sunglasses. It’s not like any of the people you’re playing with want to look at your pupils to see if you’re bluffing anyway.

Guy that says all-in every hand
I’m not even talking about the guy that raises all-in every hand. I mean the guy that mucks his cards and then sees the flop and says it. And he doesn’t do it once either. Like that has the slight chance of being humorous. Nope he does it every five hands until everyone wants to punch him in the face.

Guy that thinks that he’s a pro
He’s probably wearing sunglasses and listening to his iPod, waiting to yell at someone for calling his raises with marginal hands. The problem with “pro guy” is that it seems like the only pro he’s trying to be is Phil Helmuth – meaning he’s just waiting to lose and cry.

Guy that legitimately needs to win the 50 dollar prize
Sure he had the $10 dollar buy in, but if he loses, he isn’t going to be able to buy lunch or beer at the end of the week. That’s the closest thing you’ll see to a degenerate before it goes from amusing to downright sad.


Guy that reads poker books and refers to the pros as if he knows them.
“Doyle would have played that hand, but I don’t think Chan would have.” It’s nice to see teenagers reading, but when it’s about how to gamble better, I feel like it’s not that healthy.

Guy that says his “style” is playing every hand
You’ll spot this guy quick. He’ll be the first person to bust someone with his “favorite hand.” It will probably be something like 4-5, black off suit and he’ll he think, “Man I always gotta play that hand.”

Guy that say “but they were suited.”
He calls raises with anything suited, or connected for that matter, and then hits. This is probably the guy who wins often, and at the same time the last guy you want to invite because he’s probably a prick.

Guy that doesn’t want to play
He only plays because the rest of his friends play and probably says he doesn’t like poker because “it’s boring and he’s not patient enough.” He also spends most of the game text messaging his girl friend and is probably the only one of the group with the chance of getting laid later that night.

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LOL: Knicks May Buy Out Brown, Let Isiah Coach

A team that has one guy who refers to himself as “Starbury” and another who’s known as "Franchise” isn’t the problem. Apparently, Larry Brown is what’s wrong with the New York Knicks.

Various New York newspapers are reporting that Madison Square Garden Chairman Larry Dolan is considering buying out the rest of Brown’s contract after an embarrassing 23-59 season.

It’s as if the Knicks have spent the last year on tilt, making one ridiculous move after another to try and compensate for their previous ridiculous moves.

They’ve traded what seemed like a guaranteed lottery pick for the weak hearted Eddy Curry. They also acquired a player that earlier in the season was suspended for refusing to enter a game in the fourth quarter.

Now they want to get rid of the one gem they have.

Better yet, The Post says they are considering handing the job over to Isiah Thomas so they don’t have pay $5 million for a new coach. To me, it seems pretty inevitable that he will take over the team at some point.

That’s just the type of punishment he deserves.

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Jazz in the Red After .500 Season

The Utah Jazz are breaking the bank to be a mediocre team.

Putting much of the blame on himself for handing out a quarter billion dollars in long term contracts, team owner Larry Miller said his team had lost $25 million over the last two seasons.

Miller didn’t say that he is upset over the loss, because he believes the team is improving and heading in the right direction.

That I’m not sure of.

The three big contracts were given to Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur…None of whom I consider to be star players. Kirilenko and Okur are pretty good “second best” players. Guys that are good for 17 points and 9 rebounds every night. But I just can’t see them leading the Jazz through the playoffs.

Boozer got the famous one good year NBA contract and now doesn’t ever have to worry about busting his ass to play 82 games. It seems like the NBA hands out more of those deals than any league. Of course, NBA teams also let people like Isiah Thomas in their front office, so I guess that’s not surprising.

With no player on its roster that screams, “I can take over,” the Jazz are going to struggle to make the playoffs every year, which goes pretty much hand in hand with turning a profit.

For some reason, the team reminds me of the Bulls. They are going to hang around every year and they are going to be tough. The difference is that going .500 in the Eastern Conference gets you a six or seven seed and .500 in the west means you’re getting a lottery pick.

Miller: Team shortfall $10M this season – Salt Lake Tribune

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Drew Henson Loves Clichés and AMERICANS

Drew Henson was once both a Heisman candidate and the next Mike Schmidt. Now he’s stuck playing in front of crowds that can’t understand why American’s stole the name of their game.

Henson is currently playing in NFL Europe with the Rhein Fire and keeps a blog hosted by the Dallas Morning News. His latest entry came yesterday when he announced that he had a sprained MCL and was questionable for this Sunday’s game with Hamburg, who apparently is always dangerous and has the heart of a lion.

“They are a much better team than their record shows, and with nothing to lose, they will probably throw everything they have at us. We may have up to four starters out on offense, but regardless, we have to fight and find a way to win this game, no matter how pretty it may or may not be.”

The one positive about Henson being down means that record breaking college quarterback Timmy Chang might get a chance to play. Remember him? The guy that threw for 100,000 yards for Hawaii a few years ago. I just love him.

After rambling about some trip that was ruined by his therapy, Henson goes on to explain that he can’t wait to come back to the United States and lists the things he misses most about this country:

“Mi Cocina
Nobu
Patrizio
Baseball Tonight (Cable)
Golfing
Having a car to drive
Speaking the local language
AMERICANS”

Maybe he forgot that he’s hated by half of New York for being the Yankee’s position playing version of Brien Taylor. Maybe he doesn’t realize that he now gets the honor of handing Terrell Owens water (without receiving a high five) after touchdowns. Maybe he thinks Bill Parcells knows his name.

On second thought, maybe he’d be better off staying in Germany.

What I miss most – Drew Henson’s Blog

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Chipping Away at the Empire: Down Goes Matsui

After playing in 1,768 straight games between Japan and the United States, Hideki Matsui was starting to look like he needed a few days off.

Now, he’ll get three months.

The Major League record for consecutive games played to begin a career ended at 518 when Matsui broke his left wrist attempting to catch a Mark Loretta fly ball in the first inning of the Yankees 5-3 loss at home to Boston last night. With its left fielder joining right fielder Gary Sheffield on the DL, New York now has to find a way to keep injuries from causing the season to fall by the wayside.

From the looks of things, that won’t be easy.

The Yankees will now look to prospect/horror show Melky Cabrera, sissy armed/nearsighted Bernie Williams and the bat-less wonderkid Bubba Crosby to combine to shore up its depleted outfield. They might me be better off handing a jersey to Paul O’Neil. At least he throws good tantrums.

With Alex Rodriguez still struggling, Jason Giambi is the only run producer in what was supposed to be a nightmare of a lineup. A lineup with Bernie, Bubba, Miguel Cairo, and Jorge Posada now looks like a pitcher’s wet dream.

Never mind the pitching, which has an ace that hit the backstop twice in seven pitches the other night and a bullpen that can’t even get the ball to its best guy.

The schedule won’t do the Yankees any favors either. The team hosts Oakland and Texas for seven games before taking the subway over the Shea Stadium to play one of the best teams in baseball.

Follow that up with a three game set in Boston and 19-13 could become 24-23 in a hurry.

A Broken Wrist Ends Matsui's Streak – NY Times
Melky… Cereal, Baby. Melky…. Cereal. – StreetMeats

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That Jason Kendall, He’ll Never Learn

Call me crazy, but I think a trend is starting to develop here.

Oakland A’s catcher Jason Kendall dropped his appeal of the four game suspension he received after charging Anaheim’s John Lackey on May 2. And then he called out Major League Baseball.

Kendall said that baseball had turned into a badminton league and apparently feels that if a pitcher yells at you, it is within your rights to attack him.

Obviously, Jason is all about setting the right examples. He’s the type of guy that thinks its okay for students to assault teachers when they give detention or for workers to smack around fellow employees when the copy machine isn’t copying.

The suspension for fighting is Kendall’s fourth of his career with the last one coming in August 2004. Not surprisingly, he has attempted to appeal the rulings each time. And why not? I mean there’s no way it was ever actually his fault, right?

Two years ago, he tried to beat up Colorado Rockies pitcher Joe Kennedy not because Kennedy drilled him in the arm, but because he yelled at him afterwards. Clearly, Kendall is sensitive when it comes to words. I’d hate to be the dude that called him gay when they were kids.

A year earlier, Kendall was handed a three game suspension for his part in a brawl with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. That time, Marlon Anderson put his hands on Kendall which was more than enough to throw Anderson in the “Boston Crab” until he tapped out.

In 1998, he and Gary Sheffield went at it after Sheffield knocked off his helmet. Kendall fought dirty in that one, using his shin guard to open up a cut near Sheff’s eye.

He was also suspended once for two games after bumping an umpire and disputing a call. His comments after that were very similar to the ones he made yesterday.

"It was a heat-of-the-battle thing," Kendall said. "The next day, the umpire and I were fine. Everybody's trying to change the game now. ... It was just one of those things that happens in baseball."

It’s too bad everyone has gone and changed the game now. I for one hope that Kendall keeps on throwing hands when looked at funny. Baseball needs more of those ruthless Ty Cobb throwbacks.

Kendall rips baseball after dropping his appeal of his four-game suspension - Yahoo

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Check It Out: Didn’t Defense Win Him the MVP?

Any time you get a chance to rip Alex Rodriguez, you pretty much have to take it. ARod made two costly errors and went hitless as the Yankees were blown out at their place by the Red Sox. Joining Rodriguez on the infamous “he just can’t handle New York” roster is Melky Cabrera. Poor Melky. Last year, his goof up led to Trot Nixon hitting an inside the park homerun and then last night, he dropped a fly ball that resulted in two runs scoring. He might even get traded before you read this.

Ian Cameron from Detroit Bad Boys couldn’t have been anymore on the money when he gave the reasons why the Pistons/Cavaliers series won’t be competitive. Yes, LeBron is going to get his, but the Cavs play about as much defense with James as they play offense without him…very little.

I’ve always thought that the NHL playoffs were ridiculous because it seems like they last longer than the regular season. This year however, they might be in the Stanley Cup finals around the same time the NBA is in its conference finals. Anaheim is now up 3-0 in its series with Colorado after a 4-3 win last night. Buffalo, Carolina, and San Jose can all take 3-0 leads tonight.

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It's Never Too Early For Sox/Yanks, But Phillies/Mets?

Baseball fans in the northeast are usually guaranteed of one exciting rivalry each summer. From the looks of things, they’d better prepare for a double dose.

A pair of three game sets begins tonight in New York and Philadelphia between the Yankees and Red Sox and the Phillies and Mets. In terms of the big picture, each series has relatively no meaning…being that it’s May 9th… but when it comes to bragging rights, it might as well be the final week of the regular season.

Boston Red Sox/New York Yankees
On the American League side, the Yankees and Red Sox have that hate-hate thing going on so fans tend to get a little rowdy for these matchups. From what I notice, it’s always a little more important to Sox fans that their team take two of three from these early season meetings than it is to Yankee fans.

It’s not even that they care more; it’s just that their obsession with beating New York has no calendar… and every single win is just as good as the one before it – except for game seven of the 2004 ALCS. That was probably a tad better.

Yankee fans meanwhile, prove that despite the rumors, they are pretty decent counters. At least up through 26. That’s makes for an annoying argument before, during and after any of these games. You can’t even have a conversation with those guys because they all start with -in terrible New Yorker accents mind you- “How many World Series have you won in the last 88 years?”

And yes, they all have terrible New Yorker accents. As far as I’m concerned, if you can’t at least fake the New York voice, you’re probably just a Cowboys, Bulls, Duke, Nebraska, Brazil fan.

New York Mets/Philadelphia Phillies
The NL East is a little different. I’m not even sure that I would call the Phillies and Mets rivals. They’re almost like the Nets and the Celtics. When’s the last time fans were pumped for one of those games? Nevertheless, both sides’ fans can and will be brutal.

Fans in Philadelphia are genuine thugs. In fact, it’s debatable as to whether or not they even support their home teams. Whereas most people go to the game expecting to watch, these guys go expecting to fight, torture and potentially kill. They get all loaded on their cheese steaks and booze and then you can’t control them.

And they have plenty of fuel too. Billy Wagner, who still uses “reckon” in place of “think” or “suppose” called out his former teammates over the weekend, noting that he felt as though the team didn’t like him. Saying “we ain’t got no chance” to make the playoffs last July probably did it.

The Mets are starting to get plenty of those “man, I’ve always be a Mets fan,” guys as their wins pile up. Expect that the bandwagon to continue to grow throughout the summer making for a dangerous combination with real Mets fans. That of course, is because any true Mets fan must really be off his rocker. Being second best in your own city for so long will do that to you.

Divisions aren’t won or lost in May. This series is all about the fans gaining an upper hand on one another.

At least until next week.

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Bonds Assures: I’m Still an Asshole

Flashing a smile for the camera wasn’t a problem. But writing his name on a ball was out of the question for Barry Bonds.

Bonds blasted his 713th career homerun off Philadelphia’s Jon Lieber Sunday night, moving him within one of tying Babe Ruth for second place all time. The homerun came in the sixth inning and traveled an estimated 450 feet before bouncing off the façade in right field at Citizens Bank Ballpark and landing in the hands of Carlos Oliveras.

The 25 year old had a very bizarre -albeit smart- way of making sure no one attempted to snatch the ball. Had a fan tried, they’d have grabbed more than they bargained for. Once it found Oliveras’ hands, he immediately stuck the ball between his legs in an effort to conceal it… There is doubt in my mind that he has hidden items down there before. No one just catches a homerun and comes up with that idea.

After the game, Bonds told the media that he wouldn’t sign the ball and then laughed when the fan asked. The two did take a picture and shake hands, although Bonds made sure that Oliveras’ washed himself thoroughly first.

I’m not sure why signing the ball would be such a problem, especially considering ESPN made the fan sign a waiver for Bonds’ reality show, but you have to consider the source. I guess that if you’re not helping him pay for his mistress’ home, you aren’t getting an autograph.

Lucky fan gets photo with Bonds but no autograph - Yahoo

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Boxer Makes Mistake of Believing Don King

Tito Santana look-alike Ricardo Mayorga is threatening to pull out of his Junior Middleweight title defense against Oscar De La Hoya Saturday night citing his disappointment with only receiving $2 million for the fight when he was told that he would be getting $8 million.

Although he signed a $2 million contract, Mayorga maintains that Don King guaranteed him the extra $6 million.

"I wanted to sign a contract for $8 million. I signed one for a lesser amount to lure Oscar into the fight," Mayorga said. "I want what was initially told to me. I'm not going to fight for free. What I am being offered at this point is not what I was offered verbally, and that's what I want them to live up to.”

Naturally, King denied ever making such a promise.

Just from checking out his Wikipedia page, Mayorga doesn’t really seem like the most intelligent person in the world. He smokes two packs of cigarettes a day when he isn’t in training and has allegedly punched a woman over a debt he owed, threatened and beat up some other guy and raped another woman. There is no mention of his reading level.

I guess it’s a possibility that Mayorga didn’t realize who he was dealing with. King’s word is about as unreliable as any man in the entire world. The guy was a con man before being a promoter, which most say goes hand in hand. He is the type of person that makes promises just to break them.

It’s tough being a boxer. They have about as much influence on their life as race horses and they don’t get laid nearly as much – at least not consensually. But in this case, Mayorga is very wrong. Maybe he got scammed by the lowest of lowlifes, but that’s his or his lawyer’s fault. He signed a contract and now he needs to honor it.

Update: Realizing that $2 million is a lot more than say… nothing, Mayorga has decided to go through with the fight after all. Chalk another one up for Don King.

Mayorga threatens to pull out of fight with De La Hoya – Fight Report
Ricardo Mayorga - Wikipedia

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Barkley Has Multi-Million Dollar Habit, But No Problem

Charles Barkley became the second high profile athlete this week to admit having a serious gambling problem. Barkley estimated that he had lost $10 million at the casino, which pales in comparison to John Daly who said he has lost $50-60 million, but I guess it’s still fairly substantial.

During halftime of the Piston/Bucks game, Barkley changed his tune denying that he had a problem and offering this priceless gem:

"It's not a problem. If you're a drug addict or an alcoholic, those are problems. I gamble for too much money. As long as I can continue to do it I don't think it's a problem. Do I think it's a bad habit? Yes, I think it's a bad habit. Am I going to continue to do it? Yes, I'm going to continue to do it."

Good call from Sir Charles. With what he spends on a single hand of blackjack, crack heads and boozers could have enough money to get their fix for years. But no, gambling’s not a problem. I get his point, but it was in bad taste.

Anyway, I’m with MJD on this one… There’s a huge difference between what Barkley does and what Daly suffers from. Barkley’s habit or problem or whatever seems like it would make for an entertaining reality TV show. Maybe him, Michael Jordan and one of those MIT kids playing $20,000 per hand at the Mirage… Challenging dealers to fights when they flip over a five after being forced to hit on 16.

For Daly, there’s a very real chance that he will go flat broke as soon as he is done with golf and I don’t think his life stories would fit as well into a Masters’ broadcast as Barkley’s do on TNT.

Barkley claims gambling problem has cost him $10M – ESPN
“Hey, Look At Me! I Have A Gambling Problem, Too!” – The Mighty MJD

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Weak Prank From Bad Player

Maybe he’s a leading candidate for Mendoza Line, but Adrian Beltre his still keeping is sense of humor.

Beltre organized a joke involving Seattle’s foreign born Latino players and manager Mike Hargrove that had the group asking their coach to give them Monday off to support immigrant’s rights.

Apparently, Hargrove was starting to believe them before Eddie Guardado burst out laughing. To which the manager should have replied, “Eddie, you held that joke about as well as you hold leads for us.”

It’s nice that Beltre can stay loose despite hitting .201, but can you imagine if Lou Piniella was still in charge in Seattle.

More than likely, there would have been an array of ethnic slurs, potentially followed by a few punches, ultimately ending with Jaime Moyer’s name inserted into the lineup for the rest of the week.

Excuse the old Beltre picture. It's tought to find one of him hitting with the Mariners.

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Big East Football Adds Two Bowls

The Big East is now guaranteed to send six teams to bowl games. That is, as long as six teams are eligible.

On Monday, the conference announced its aligning with both the International Bowl and Birmingham Bowl to go along with its four other bowl affiliations, including a BCS automatic qualifier.

For a league that barely sent four teams to the post season last year, this is a fairly surprising move. You’d think they would try to avoid the embarrassment of being unable fill out the bowl games they are affiliated with.

From the looks of each team’s schedule, the conference might luck out this year. Six teams will play at least one Division IAA school. Of the two that don’t, Louisville has an all important game at Temple and Syracuse hosts Wyoming.

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For The Ladies...

I have never met a girl that knows nothing about football but is dieing to learn the game inside and out. Apparently, they’re out there.

For $35 dollars a pop, Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy is willing to teach women everything they need to know about the sport. Included in this wonderful package is a presentation and Q&A session with Coach Gundy, a tour of OSU’s stadium, onfield coaching (something the Cowboys lacked while blowing a second half lead against Texas last year) and a free t-shirt.

There will even be an equipment demonstration making for the very real possibility that one lucky woman might actually get the chance to dress up and act like a total dude. Sweet.

For any of those guys in Oklahoma really looking to sweep his lady off her feet, this is for you. If ever there was a perfect “just because” present, Football 101 has to be it. Talk about a guaranteed way to get laid.

FOOTBALL 101 FOR WOMEN – OSU Athletics (via Fark)

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Red Wings Bounced

The NHL has a bit of dilemma. Should it be happy with the quality play and stunning upsets that have taken place in the first round of the playoffs or disappointed that its two biggest market teams embarrassed themselves?

In the wake of the New York Rangers debacle, Detroit was finished off by Edmonton last night, blowing a 2-0 third period lead to become the seventh top seed to be eliminated by an eight seed since 1994.

For the Red Wings, the NHL’s point leaders, this marks the third straight playoffs that they have been knocked out in of the first two rounds.

Maybe it’s a good sign that there is a ton of parity in the league, but I highly doubt Gary Bettman was rooting for a Carolina/Edmonton type Stanley Cup Finals.

And In Edmonton – Off Wing, they know more about hockey than me.

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Rams Take Chance on Hottest Rapper in the Game

This is probably the last time you’ll read anything concerning Ed Nelson (save a few hick jokes) on Dan’s Take so bare with me.

The culmination of a month that saw Nelson’s name thrown in the same sentences with Paul Wall and Antonio Gates came Sunday when he signed as an undrafted free agent with the St. Louis Rams. Like Gates, he will try and break in as a tight end.

Said Nelson: "I didn't think I'd get drafted. It's risky for a team to draft me, but a lot of teams know my potential."

I’m not sure how one day of workouts could really show off his vast potential. If any scout would just watch game tape from his basketball career, they’d realize that he struggled to catch a big round ball. What makes them think he’s going to keep his hands on a football?

Ah well. Good for Nelson. I don’t think this will turn out to be a success story but you never know. I mean, if you would have told me that “Pickup Truck” would be my ring tone a few months ago, I’d have probably laughed.

But sure enough…

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Scott Boras: Bad for Baseball, Even Worse for Agents

There’s an episode of the now off the air HBO series "Arliss" in which Arliss’ secretary wants to become a sports agent and then gives up when she realizes just how cutthroat the industry can be.

Maybe Jim Munsey ought to check it out.

Munsey has filed a complaint with the Major League Baseball Players Associated stating that super agent Scott Boras was attempting to steal one of his clients. He claims that Boras’ representatives have been “stalking” Braves’ top prospect Jarrod Saltalamacchia for the last year.

Boras said that Saltalamacchia provided his cell phone number and initiated contact with his people several times.

Now I’m sure that the Boras camp is blowing up the kid’s cell phone and showing up at every one of his games in Myrtle Beach even if he has made it clear that he wants to stick with Munsey. But isn’t that part of the job? I thought agents were supposed to do whatever they can in order to get the best clients available.

It’s must be frustrating that Boras can probably land any player he wants at any time but that’s what happens when you convince Texas to spend $100 million more than any other team for Alex Rodriguez. He has a phenomenal track record.

This isn’t about stealing. It’s called business. Munsey just finds himself in the unfortunate predicament of competing with the Wal-Mart of sports agents.

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NBA Playoffs: Midway Through the First Round...

Chicago 93 Miami 87
The Heat appear to be unraveling as they head back home for game five. Gary Payton argued with Dwyane Wade, Antoine Walker and more than likely anybody that was willing to listen to his shit. Meanwhile, the Bulls got another balanced attack from Andres Nocioni (24 points) Ben Gordon (23 points) and Kirk Hinrich (21 points) to even the series up at two apiece.

Los Angeles 99 Phoenix 98
Kobe Bryant played selflessly once again, but took the big shot when it matted most, nailing a jumper over two defenders as time expired to defeat the Suns. If it isn’t already clear he should have won the MVP, this was the perfect example. With everything Steve Nash brings to the table, he wouldn’t have even been looking to shoot in that spot, while Bryant wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Washington 106 Cleveland 96
I’m not sure if anyone has noted how ridiculous the Cavaliers look with their playoff beards. I think they are playoff beards. No one should look that silly on purpose. LeBron James broke just about every Cleveland playoff record imaginable in this game, but Gilbert Arenas scored 20 fourth quarter points to help tie the series up for the Wizards. And he won a 100 dollar sit n’ go at halftime, so what now.

Sacramento 102 San Antonio 84
This is pretty compelling. The Spurs were a second away from going up 3-0 and now they are tied after getting blown out by the Kings. It’s hard to root for Ron Artest to succeed, but it’s even harder to watch the Spurs. Let’s go Sac Town.

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McNair May be Done in Tennessee

All of that Vince Young learning to revolutionize the quarterback position through Steve McNair nonsense lasted about 12 hours.

McNair’s agent, Bus Cook said that Tennessee was most likely going to release his client or trade him to Baltimore within the next 24 hours. Titans coach Jeff Fischer said it was unlikely that the team would do either, but Raven’s coach Brian Billick said “stay tuned.”

With all of the hype that Young is receiving despite possibly being mildly retarded, he’d better be starting. I just can’t see him sitting the bench while a lesser version of himself runs around getting clobbered, not knowing when to stay down.

Poor Steve McNair – Sports Underground

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