Analyzing the Beckett Trade

Louie from the Bronx: Whadaya thinkin? Beckett’s a bum. The guy is damaged goods. He’s been on the freakin’ DL nine times since being drafted.

Ben from Boston: Leave that Gahbage in the barrel. You know we just got a stud ace and didn’t have to give any of ahr major league talent away. He’s coming into his prime and he’s got wicked nasty stuff. Most of his problems ahr blister related anyway. It’s not like he has shoulder problems.

Louie from the Bronx: Whadabout the kid Ramirez? You bums can neva hold on to ya young talent. Look how Bagwell turned out. Not to mention da babe.

Ben from Boston: Listen bub, Ramirez isn’t that special. He has always been in trouble for being immature and he wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure in Bahston.

Louie from the Bronx: Eee’sa future all star!

Ben from Boston: He doesn’t hit for power and he doesn’t walk nearly enough. His defense is excellent but we ahrn’t tahlkin about Ozzie Smith heah.

Louie from the Bronx: And dis pitcha Sanchez, I tink he’s for real.

Ben from Boston: Ahr you retahded? Remember we traded Cahrl Pavano fah Pedro. That worked out. He might be a stud some day but Beckett is a proven ace who kills the Yankees.

Louie from the Bronx: That was like three years ago! You had to take on Lowell’s contract and everyone knows he stinks cuz he’s off da juice. Now ya not gonna be able to afford Damon.

Ben from Boston: Juice or not, Lowell is a dead pull hitteah. He will be putting balls off the monstah fah years to come. Face it, we got the best of this deal.

Louie from the Bronx: ::thinking:: ...... 1918 Clap Clap! ClapClapClap