Here's to the Fantasy Football Losers of the World

Today, we salute you, Mr. Fantasy Football loser.

As you sit with that blank stare, alone, checking statistics on your computer, you ask yourself, “Why oh why didn’t I draft Shaun Alexander?”

It’s a fact. Like a bad beat story in poker, no one cares about what you have to say, but you’re going to tell them anyway. You drafted that bum Culpepper too early. You had Terrell Owens. The Baltimore defense flopped.

Oblivious to all those trying to get away, you continue. Priest got hurt and some jerk already had Larry Johnson. Yeah you picked Peyton Manning, but he stunk early and choked it up in week 15.

Sure your girl friend thinks you’re a freak and you did lose the $200 entry fee, but you take solace in the fact that your other team (the Oscar Robertson’s) dominated the yahoo free public league.

While it was you who drafted name over game, you can only blame those expletive-ing players. Jamal Lewis did rehab in jail, but he’s supposed to rush for 1500 yards and 20 scores!

Now the dream is over and you have nothing left to do, so crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. I Need to Tell Everyone my Sob Story, and keep thinking to yourself…

Fantasy baseball starts in three months; I need to find a team name!