Best Gimmick Ever: Day 1


Welcome to the first day of the “Best Gimmick Ever” fantasy wrestling tournament. I will try and do the first round by the middle of next week, going over four-eight matches during each posting.

Rules… Things you should know… Other randomness

32 wrestlers under two different gimmicks. Two completely different names are not necessary. Example: The Sting from early WCW and the black & white Sting are eligible. The Ultimate Warrior would be an example of someone who is ineligible.

For the sake of time, we will pretend that the first round has ten minute time limits. Of course, that means you should expect time to expire on at least one of these matches.

None of the same wrestler will be in any bracket. The only possible way the same characters would face off would be in the final four or championship.

Expect more rules to be created as we move through the tournament. It’s always fun to throw twists at the audience.

Here is the first region’s bracket

And here we go….

1. Hulk Hogan (red and yellow) VERSUS 16. Virgil

The crowd exploded as “I Am a Real American” came over the sound system. As the late Gorilla Monsoon would say, Hogan has to be the odds on favorite to win the whole thing, which is why he is the number one overall seed.

Virgil, who was Ted Dibiase’s bodyguard in the nineties, was already in the ring as any jobber would be. My guess would be that he won less than ten times in his entire WWF career.

That trend continued.

Hogan finished off Virgil without ever breaking a sweat. He didn’t even have to hulk up. In fact, the bandana never even came off. Clothesline, body slam, leg drop, 1, 2, 3. ::Bell Rings::

Hogan advances.

8. Hunter Hearst Helmsley VERSUS 9. Ted Dibiase (NWO)

This isn’t a very exciting 8 vs. 9. Helmsley is in his pre-steroid body facing an over the hill Dibiase.

Neither of the two have any chance to defeat Hogan in round two but I’ll take the first appearance of an NWO member to defeat the preppy from Greenwich.

Not much to say about this one. Expect each characters’ other gimmick to perform much better.
Dibiase rolls up Helmsley, pull the tights, wins the match.

Dibiase advances

5. Diesel VERSUS 12. The RepoMan

Watch out for the 12 seeds.

Before the match, Howard Finkel has an announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a number of automobiles broken into in the parking lot.”

Enter RepoMan.

The car thief from the motor city, a perennial jobber, surprises Diesel in this one. When referee Earl Hebner isn’t looking, Repo takes a crowbar to the big guy, knocking him out cold.

RepoMan advances

4. Brutus “the barber” Beefcake VERSUS 13. Syxx

The second NWO member in the tournament doesn’t fare nearly as well as the first. Beefcake, who is a fan favorite, locks in a sleeper hold on the greasy looking Syxx.

Back to the porn career for Syxx.

Jim Ross points out that we could be looking at a sweet 16 match up of Brutus and the Hulkster, two best friends.

Brutus advances

Check back tomorrow for more of the “Best Gimmick Ever” contest.


Anonymous 2:20 PM, December 14, 2005  

this is the best idea ever! i look forward to the rest.


p.s.- when the hell are you coming to SHU to visit, ass.

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