Best Gimmick Ever: Elite Eight


What a tremendous way to move on with this tournament. It’s fairly ironic that Ready to Rumble, one of those movies you won’t admit to ever watching -much less enjoying- was on TBS while I wrote this.

Interesting that the four matches in this group appear to all be first time matches. That was not a set up, I swear.

1. Bret Hart VERSUS 2. Macho Man Randy Savage (with Ms Elizabeth)

Two wrestling icons. I can’t think of a better match. Both had such an impact on my child hood.

I can’t lie. Bret is my favorite wrestler of all time. He showed me pink is okay for guys to like. I used to go to wrestling events at the New Haven Coliseum decked out in the pink glasses, a title belt, and a Hart t-shirt.

On the other hand, I had a Macho Man wrestling buddy that I even used to let beat me sometimes, simply out of respect.

To decide this match, I had to go to the wrestling figures.

I rounded up the boys that were locked somewhere in my closet and threw them all in the fake ring that I got when I was seven. I decided that I would flip the ring over, like I used to do with pretend Royal Rumbles, and the one who stayed in would be the winner.

Sadly, regrettably, terribly, much to my dismay, three were left. This isn’t going where you think it is. Two were the Bushwhackers because there arms always caught on to the ropes. The other was the Macho Man.

We’ll say that Savage pinned Bret, and the two shook hands afterwards because the match was just that good.

Macho Man Advances

1. Hulk Hogan VERSUS 3. Mr. Perfect
Hogan and Perfect traded leverage throughout this match. Hogan was on a rush from having a weak road to get in to this tournament, and was facing his first real challenge in the tournament.

Perfect was overmatched in most categories, most namely size and popularity, but as I mentioned early on, it’s hard not to like Mr. Perfect when you think about those ridiculous commercials he used to have.

Being perfect just wasn’t enough in this one however. In the end, Hogan was just too strong to lose.

Besides, what’s a tournament without Hulkamania at least in the final four?

Hogan Advances

1. Shawn Michaels VERSUS 6. Scott Hall
So my favorite wrestler lost and now I get a chance to play Vince McMahon.

Shawn thought he was going to win this match. Hall may have had the N.W.O. in his corner but they were all friends with Michaels as well.

Or so we thought.

Through orders of me, the group attacked Michaels, beating him to oblivion. Somehow through all of this, the referee was knocked out and didn’t know what was going on.

Hall pinned Michael’s for the upset.

Scott Hall Advances

1. Hollywood Hogan VERSUS 6. The Berzerker
Pick your sides. Two N.W.O. originals will go at it in the final four.

The Berzerker was a relative unknown. In fact it came to my attention just recently that I was spelling his name wrong the whole tournament.

The great story had to come to an end sometime.

Hogan didn’t even need to cheat to win this one as he pounded the mountain man.

Hogan Advances


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