23 Good Times with Dick Vitale

Just how infatuated with Duke is Dicky V?

Well, the pending blizzard in New England left me home last night so I decided to watch the Stanford/Gonzaga game on ESPN. Considering that I have no interest in either team, I thought it might be fun to count just how many times Vitale mentioned the Blue Devils during the game.

I figured I’d document each occasion.

It’s absurd how often he actually refers to them. If you were out with your boys watching the game over a few beers, you could play a nice drinking game while listening to Vitale.

1. Dick pointed out that all the bad teams in Gonzaga’s conference want to play their hearts out when they meet the Bulldogs. “Very similar to the Dukies,” he said.

2. Vitale ponders whether Adam Morrison was aware that Redick scored 35 points earlier in the day. This thought comes during a Stanford fast break. Yes Dick, I’m sure those two got right on their Xbox’s and talked for hours about JJ’s game while trying to improve on their kill rate in Halo.

3. The game comes back from commercial and Vitale mentions that the crowd was very anti-Redick. A very astute statement.

4. The Bulldogs have the nation’s longest home winning streak at 35 and Duke has won 17 straight. “Oh, you have to love Cameron, baby.”

5. Morrison can go quiet and then scored 15 points in a matter of minutes. I think PTP-er was thrown in along with a “just like JJ” remark.

6. Because Gonzaga is unbeaten in the WCC, Vitale was compelled to announce that Duke was also unbeaten in conference play.

7. For about 30 seconds, he went into the Morrison/Redick comparison. Something about Adam averaging 19 shots and JJ takes 18 per game. The point was that they are so close.

8. First time Dick brings up the conspiracy talk about officials and Duke. He tries to tie it in with Gonzaga and then says that teams are always so far behind that they have to foul. Apparently he didn’t see the BC or FSU games.

9. Without speaking the name, Vitale starts talking about how Morrison is going to score 35 points tonight, like Redick did. Morrison hits a three just before halftime forcing Vitale to mutter something about scintillating superb-ness.

10. “Morrison plays with passion, that’s what JJ Redick has, passion.”

11. Dick points out that Gonzaga strives to have inside-out balance the way Duke does with Shelden Williams and JJ Redick.

12. “JJ, if your watching, Mr. Morrison is putting on a show too JJ.” JJ actually wasn’t watching, as he was working on Valentine’s Day poems for Vitale and his Halo buddy.

13. Vitale says that both Redick and Morrison deserve to be national player of the year.

14. The first classic cliché of the night comes out as Dick is still going on about Redick and Morrison. “Both guys are winners.” ESPN then brought up and image saying that Morrison needs 17 points to overtake Redick as the nation’s leading scorer

15. As you can tell, outside of watching Morrison, the actual game means nothing to Vitale. At this point, he talks about how much of a shootout it will be if Duke and Connecticut get to play.

16. The issue I have with Vitale is that you can take Morrison out of all his statements and they would still make sense because Redick seems to be right there too. “You see, guys like Morrison and Redick never get open look. Somebody is always in their face.” We call that defense usually.

17. Back from commercial, Vitale says the name Redick. It counts.

18. Yes Dick, we already know. You’ve said it 26 times. JJ and Adam can share the player of the year trophy.

19. Morrison begins what was his own little 11-0 scoring run and we find out that big time players do in fact make big time shots. Dick mentions that we see it with Redick all the time.

20. Still more on the player of the year stuff. Game is close, Morrison hits clutch three pointer. “JJ and he deserve to share that title.”

21. ESPN shows a fan holding a “We Want Duke” sign and Vitale quickly screams, “No baby, you don’t want that. Everybody says they want some of the Dukies. Just worry about getting by Stanford baby.”

22. Free-throw conspiracy II. I guess that all the talk is an embarrassment to Redick and what he does on the court.

23. Final comment of the night is another one for the all-time cliché list. “Just like JJ, Adam wants the ball at the end of the game.”

The things I do with my life.

By the way, the actual game was really exciting and Morrison did hit some huge shots. Gonzaga won 80-76.